Meir Soloveichik’s “How Not To Become a Jew”
More on last night.
Today a friend pressed into my hand an article from Commentary Magazine by Meir Soloveichik, entitled “How Not To Become a Jew.” He uses the case of Columbia graduate student Lauren Winner, who grew up a Patrilineal Jew in a Reform congregation in the South, moved to New York, converted to Orthodox Judaism, and then, through a series of educational experiences and deeply held psychological and theological yearnings, converted to Christianity.
Rather than giving in to hysteria, Soloveichik dispassionately examines this particular case by asking, “Is Lauren Winner still Jewish?”
He answers in the affirmative, though in the legal category of “apostate Jew.” (Hey, she did convert out, after all.)
But in the article, not available for free online (please issue one large, collective BOOOOO! to Commentary) reminds us of a famous text about converts from the Talmud: Converts, the Talmud says, are as painful to Israel as a scab.
One view of this is that Jews historically (and today this is generally seen as something of an embarassment to us) have discouraged conversion to Judaism, due in part to our own xenophobia. Soloveichik, however, reminds us of an alternate reading, by Rabbi Abraham the Convert, who through the pain of his own experience, argues that “converts are as painful to Israel as a scab” because their new found piety embarasses those born Jewish. The convert’s achievement raises feelings of inadequecy in us.
They may shame us; we may shame ourselves.
Soloveichik brilliantly uses this as an opportunity to reflect on what it means to be a Jew, to define oneself as a member of a people.
Go get the article and read it.
January 27th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
I know Lauren Winner — I knew her when she was practicing traditional Judaism, and I know her now. Girl Meets God should be required reading for anyone who thinks at all about “continuity” and still doesn’t understand why people leave Jewish life.
For me, the most troubling section in that book is the part (p.99) where she observes,
“…They knew, all of them, that I was around less and less. …None of them ever said, Hey, just checking up on you. Is something up? Is something the matter? Or, harsher, Lauren, you know, shul. You really need to be there. I was part of their religious body; saying those things was part of their job.
“…I want [them] to have tried to hold me to those promised. Instead, [they] stood pluralistically by and let me do what I wanted…. I want [them to have been different, to have said sometihgm to have asked me why I wasn’t doing what I said I would do. I want [them] to have done the rude, invasive thing, the hard thing …to have read my own words back to me and to have stood there in the silence till I somehow had to respond.”
Arguing about whether or not Lauren still is Jewish is beside the point.
Of course she is, and yet from the Christian perspective that has
no bearing whatsoever on her relationship with Jesus. So it’s an
irrelevant question.
But exploring whether or not her relationship with Torah could have been saved (as it were) — taking some degree of communal responsibility for making sure that people don’t slip away — now that’s a real conversation. And for every one person like Lauren who becomes a religious Christian, there are 10, 20 people perhaps who simply leave faith all together. And that is sad.
The tragedy is not the convert who moves on; that is at best a mutual misunderstanding. The tragedy is the Jew-by-birth or convert who walks away from God entirely. Because kol Yisrael arevim zelazeh, we all share in that responbility.
March 7th, 2006 at 6:15 am
Rabbi Bachman, Shawn
I’m a Gentile that recently was hosting an Orthodox convert from Roman Catholicism. I was impressed by his commitment to following Jewish law. Especially since his original conversion was motivated, at least in some part, by a girlfriend. While the girlfriend didn’t last, his conversion has. It seems to have even strenthened over several years.
I just wanted you to know, as an outsider, that converts can succeed and truly desire to remain Jews. Not just revert to being apostate Jews.
Shawn’s point is particularly apropos. Foster their souls, for the sake of community.
December 27th, 2007 at 6:06 pm
My understanding is that Winner left observant Judaism because she didn’t “feel” like she was having a “spiritual” experience living as an observant Jew, and that the religion of Edom provided the requisite “feeling” she lacked.
I’ve seen this rationale for converts leaving observant Judaism not infrequently. To me, someone choosing a religion based on feeling rather than truth is bound to be unsatisfied and disappointed. After all, religions are made up of human beings with all their shortcomings and neediness. Perhaps the reason why there is such a strong tradition to make sure converts are sincere and motivated by pursuit of truth (i.e. הלכה למשה מסני) not emotion.